


Luck of the Irish

by Doctor_Discord



Series: The Ego Manor [50]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Cute, Dark and Anti are STILL Bickering Toddlers, Friendship, Magic, Pinching, Pure, St. Patrick's Day, This Is STUPID, paint war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-15 21:30:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18081242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctor_Discord/pseuds/Doctor_Discord
Summary: It's St. Patrick's Day! Just a short story detailing the different ways the Septics antagonized the Egos on this holiday.





	1. Dr. Iplier and Dr. Schneeplestein

Dr. Iplier was sitting in his office at the hospital, his head being propped up by a hand on his forehead as he grumbled to himself, slaving over paperwork. He jumped a mile when he felt someone pinch his arm, causing him to scatter his paperwork _everywhere_. He glanced around, eyes narrowing to slits when he spotted Schneep giggling in the corner, a hand over his mouth. “Henrik! What the _fuck?_ ”

“It’s St. Patrick’s Day, mein freund!” Schneep smirked, crossing his arms. “You aren’t vearing any green.”

Dr. Iplier rolled his eyes, turning back to his work. “Seriously? You’re a grown-ass man. Don’t you have something better to do? Like attend to a patient? Which is your fucking job? And let me get back to mine?”

Schneep scoffed, uncrossing his arms and stepping forward. “You are a buzzkill. Lighten up, Iplier! It may do you some good.”

“I’ll ‘lighten up’ when Bim’s stitches dissolve, Silver’s burn and ribs heal completely, and I get rid of this stack of paperwork. Fuck off.”

He didn’t see the sly grin spread across Schneep’s face, didn’t see him creep forward more. At least, not until he was pinching his side, laughing as Dr. Iplier jerked away, dancing out of his reach when he waved a hand to swat at him. “Jesus fucking Christ, Henrik! _Go away!_ ”

Schneep snorted, just reaching around to pinch his other side. Dr. Iplier stood abruptly, locking eyes with him and staring him down with narrowed eyes. Schneep raised his hands in mock surrender, backing away slowly. “Hey, es ist nicht meine Schuld, dass Sie die Tradition nicht mögen.”              

Dr. Iplier’s eyes narrowed further. “I don’t know _what_ you just said but you better _run_.”              

Schneep’s eyes widened and he bolted.              

Dr. Iplier was quick to tear after him, sprinting through the halls of the hospital and narrowly avoiding bowling over _several_ nurses. “You’re a fucking _prick_ , Henrik!”              

Schneep laughed. “Zhink of it as an Irish blessing, Iplier!”              

“ _You’re fucking German!_ ”


	2. Silver and Jackie

“You sure you’re feelin’ alright?”              

Silver glanced at Jackie. The Septic was staring at him with obvious concern as they stood in the manor’s backyard, getting ready to take off and head into the city. He raised an eyebrow. “I’m fine, I promise.” He flashed a smile. “Believe me when I say I have been _itching_ to get back out there. One more day grounded and I may have lost my mind.”

Jackie hummed, still not looking convinced. Suddenly his eyes shot wide, a hand flying to his mouth as he stared at him, beginning to tremble. “ _Oh my God!_ Silver, you…you’re…”              

Silver’s breath began to come in rapid gasps, panic coursing through him as Jackie stared. He glanced down, trying to find whatever he was looking at. “What, what is it, a-a-am I bleeding?! What’s wrong?” When he looked back up, Jackie was levitating and _right in his face_ with a wide, shit-eating grin. Silver let out a yelp, jumping into the air and floating a few feet off the ground, wincing soon after. “ _Jackie!_ You can’t _do_ that!”              

Jackie still didn’t reply, floating closer with the same stupid smile. He slowly reached a hand up, apprehension, confusion, and slight fear rolling in Silver’s gut as he reached toward him. “Uhh…Jackie?”              

He pinched him on the nose.              

Jackie flipped backward through the air, giggling madly to himself as Silver’s hands flew to his face, rubbing at his nose. “ _Ow!_ What the Hell, Jackie?!”              

“Happy St. Paddy’s Day, motherfucker!” Jackie’s eyes glinted as his laughter died off. “You’re still not wearin’ any green.”              

Silver paled as Jackie began flying slowly toward him, the Septic’s arms dangling limply. “Jackie, stay away from me, don’t you dare, _HEY!_ ” He was forced to fly off at top speed as Jackie raced toward him, heading toward the city. “ _Leave me alone!_ ”              

Jackie laughed, gaining on him. “I’m gonna getcha, Silver! You can’t escape me!”              

Silver couldn’t help the laughter bubbling up in his chest. “I can try you Irish bastard!”


	3. Bing and Chase

Bing shot Chase a wide, upside smile as he dangled off a random set of monkey bars at the skate park (they had a sneaking suspicion the place used to be a playground and the city was just too lazy to get rid of it). “Hey Chase! Wanna help me test how flexible my robo-body is?”              

Chase rolled his eyes. “That’s stupid, even for you. Google’ll murder you if you accidentally rip your arm off.”              

Bing simply scoffed, swinging his arms slightly as his shades finally slipped off his face and dropped to the ground. He frowned, however, when Chase suddenly smirked and moved out of his view. He twisted his body as best he could, only to find Chase rummaging around in the bushes lining the park. “Uh, Chase? What…what are you doing?”              

Chase turned back to face him, a wide grin on his face. “Do you trust me?”              

Bing narrowed his eyes, zooming in on and studying Chase’s face. “Not currently.”              

The Septic just laughed. “Close your eyes. Come on, Bing, live a little!”              

Bing snorted, but obeyed all the same. “Says the guy too scared to get on a skateboard.” He could hear Chase still rummaging around in the bushes, and when he stopped, Bing heard him give a small grunt. His brow furrowed. “Seriously Chase, what the **** are you doing over there?” Chase didn’t reply, and just as Bing was about to open his eyes and check on him he felt something cold and _wet_ being dragged down his front, from his waist all the way to hair. He spluttered, falling off the bar and landing with a heavy thump on the ground. He could hear Chase’s cackling laughter as he scrambled to his feet, wiping _whatever_ it was from his eyes before opening them. “What the _Hell_ , man!” He glanced down. A long stripe of bright green paint was trailed down his front, and when he turned his gaze back to Chase he saw a bucket of paint and a dripping brush on the ground beside him. “What the ****?!”              

Chase was physically doubled over, arms wrapped around his waist. “There we go! Now you’re dressed for the holiday, Bing!” He took a peek at Bing’s face, and his laughter renewed when he saw Bing’s open-mouthed, insulted expression.              

Slowly, a broad grin spread across Bing’s face. He flicked his fingers at Chase, covering his face with speckles of green paint. And then he dived for the bucket, dipping his hands in it before tackling Chase, smearing his hands all across his face. Chase blinked up at him, completely shocked, and Bing rolled off him, placing his still paint-covered hands on his hips. “There! Now we match, ***hole!”              

Chase grinned, dipping his own hands in the paint before scrambling to his feet, hands dripping. Bing’s eyes widened and then he bolted, Chase tearing after him. “Bing! Get back here! Let me cover you in the color of my people!”              

Bing laughed, spinning around briefly to flick more paint at his friend before running off once more, both laughing like children. “Where’d you even _get_ this?”              

Chase smirked, lunging at Bing and knocking him to the ground, pressing both of his hands to the android’s face. “I brought it here earlier! _I_ think ahead!”               

Bing snorted, choking when he accidentally inhaled paint, and Chase giggled on top of him. Bing flipped them over, laying flat on top of Chase and pinning his wrists down in order to imprint him with the stripe down his body. “Forgive me for living in the moment!” He rolled back off of him, grinning smugly when he saw how Chase now sported a matching green stripe, then bolted back to the bucket, leaving Chase to scramble after him.              

Later, when the only thing _not_ green on Bing’s body was his eyes and he was tackling a horrified and disgusted Google into a tight hug, he couldn’t say he had regrets.


	4. Bim and Marvin

“Places, places!”

Bim stood on Marvin’s stage, surveying the chaos as he directed his crew every which way, clearly thriving. He adjusted his suit – a deep emerald green color with a matching tie and a silver four-leaf clover pin on his lapel – before walking over to stand beside Marvin, the silver glitter in his hair glimmering under the stage lights. Marvin cast him a worried look. “Are you sure you’re okay to do this? I don’t…I mean…”

Bim placed a hand on the magician’s shoulder, smiling at him. “It’ll be fine, Marvin! The show must go on.” His smile turned a little more nervous as he rubbed the back of his head. “I must admit, I’m a _little_ apprehensive, but as long as you’re not holding any sharp objects, I think I’ll be good.” He winked, and Marvin laughed, flushing a little. “Just don’t tell Dr. Iplier _or_ Schneeplestein I’m here. Yours still thinks I should be in the hospital, and mine’ll _kill_ me if I do anything stupid so…”

Marvin laughed again. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.” Suddenly, a glint appeared in his eyes, and Bim narrowed his own suspiciously. “I have a new trick to show you. We need something to replace the sword one so…” He grabbed Bim’s shoulders, positioning him centerstage with the spotlight beaming down on him. “Stay _right_ there! Don’t move!”

Bim watched, one eyebrow raised suspiciously as Marvin waved his hand, multicolored glitter raining between his fingers. Almost immediately the entire crew began snickering to themselves, trying to hide it as Bim whipped his head around. “What? What’d he do?” He glanced down at himself, seeing no change, and when his head came back up, completely confused, the crew didn’t even _try_ to hide their laughter, Marvin cackling a little ways away on his right.

Bim moved to run a distressed hand through his hair, his other resting on his hip, but when he saw his hand he froze, eyes going wide. His mouth fell open, staring at Marvin, who was muffling his laughter with his hand. “You didn’t…” He scrambled for his phone, still locking eyes with Marvin. He quickly switched it to the camera function, staring at his own face. “You _did!_ You turned me fucking _green!_ ” Marvin cackled, and Bim shoved his phone back in his pocket, lifting up his shirt. Even his stitches, formerly a pale blue, had turned a pastel green. “I look like a fashionable, sparkly Hulk!”

His distressed exclamation had Marvin collapsing to the floor, no longer making a sound but his shoulders were still shaking. Bim hurried over, poking at him with a foot. “Change me back, you _ass!_ ”

Marvin drew a deep breath, rolling onto his back, completely red in the face and wheezing with his laughter. “It’s a good look on you, Bim! You match your suit!” Bim’s face turned a darker shade of green, and Marvin only laughed harder, physically convulsing. He waved a hand idly. “It’ll wear off in about fifteen minutes. In the meantime…” He chuckled deliriously. “Enjoy being a sparkly Hulk.”

Bim huffed, crossing his arms. “I _fucking_ hate you,” he seethed.

Marvin just flipped him off from the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slytherin Bim Trimmer anyone?


	5. Dark and Anti

Dark sat in his office, sorting through a mix of manor paperwork and wedding planning papers. No one _ever_ said just how _difficult_ it was to plan a wedding _before_ the fact…

He let out a sigh, covering his eyes with one hand and leaning back in his chair. When he lowered his hand, his eyes narrowed, instantly bolting upright in his chair, when he spotted the flickering lights and the patch of glitching code on his ceiling. “ _Leave_ , Anti. You are not wanted here.”

Anti popped his head out from the ceiling, upside down and staring at him with a lazy grin. He arms appeared next, folding in front of him with one fist propping up his chin. “W̝͝ḣ̹y̥͛?̰͌”

Dark’s mouth fell open slightly. “Why – you are _trespassing!_ Get out!”

Anti disappeared back into the ceiling, reappearing sitting in the chair across from Dark and still wearing that infuriating smile. “W̝͝ḣ̹y̥͛?̰͌”

Dark growled low in his chest, turning back to his work. “I have no time to play these games with you. Get out of my office, and get out of my _fucking_ house.”

Resolving to ignore Anti, he didn’t look up when he heard the glitch laugh, nor when he heard him snap his fingers. He _did_ , however, look up when his desk turned green right before his eyes. His head shot up, aura beginning to writhe with outrage when he saw that his _whole office_ was now _covered_ in different shades of green, Anti cackling in the middle of the room. In a second Dark was in front of him, glaring down at him with his aura crackling around him. “Fix it. **_Now_**.” His voice distorted violently on the last word, his ringing picking up volume.

Anti refused to back down, staring up at him with a stupid smirk. “Ṇ̂ò̝,͓͗ ̙͌y͍͠ỏ̦ū̯ ̞̀t̬̽o͈̿ḷ͘d̬͋ ̰̂m̥̕ē̘ ̳͞t͇ǒ̟ ̩̚ l̻͒e̱͒a͖͊v̭͑e͛ͅ,͇͊ ̀ͅr̐͜e̮͊m̰̔e̠͡m̗b̞͆e̬͛r̫?͉̏ ̫͑Í̖ ̱̏t͔͆h̻̆ĩ̡n̆͜k̓͟ ̞̇I̟͝'͈̌l̻͌l͓͗ ͚̀d̲͋ò̩ ̦̍t̯̾h̟̋a̦̐ť̩ ̬ǹ̜õ͓w͓̕.̹͞ ̜̆J̦̊u͇̔s̬͒t̨̏ ̳̿w͓ä̖́n͘͟t͔̃ẹ̅d̠̚ ̙̋t̰̿o̗̓ ̬̑p̟̽o͈͆p͙ ̢̃i̲̇n̟̑ ̗͘a͚̓n͙̏d̡̈ ̝̃s̛̝a͉̚y̩͒ ͕h̨͘i̙͛!̲̅ ̡̕E̹̓ǹ̖j̫̄ȏ̘ŷ̹ ́͢t̞͐ḩ̂e̼̔ ͊͟h͢͞ö̙l̯̇ȉ̦d̳͡a̗͐ỷ̧,̨͠ ̫́ D̜̿a̰̒r͎͊k̉͟!̀͜” He stuck his tongue out at Dark, hissing quietly, before his body glitched and he vanished.

“You little shit –” Dark whirled around, staring at his office through narrowed eyes, positively _seething_ , before he let out a long, exasperated sigh.

Fucking _more work for him!_


	6. The Jims, JJ, and Robbie

The Jims quietly snuck into the Septic manor, holding their equipment close as they crouched low to the ground. Instead of their usual pale blue shirts, they were wearing matching pastel green ones, twin crowns made of clovers in their hair as they stepped lightly.

RJ whirled on CJ holding his microphone close to his mouth and whispering into it as he stared dead into the camera. “We have entered enemy territory, Jim. We must _be careful_. Stealth mode, Jim. Stealth mode…”

They continued on through the manor, poking their heads into every room they came across as RJ babbled endlessly into his mic. At least, until they rounded a corner, and were confronted by a large, old-fashioned speech slide. “ **Hello, good sirs!** ”

They both screeched, jumping to their feet and spinning around. JJ was standing behind them, hands on his hips and a bright smile on his face, head cocked to the side. CJ subtly zoomed in on his face with his camera as RJ stuttered. “Uh we weren’t doing anything! Promise, we just uh…um…”

JJ raised an eyebrow. “ **Then what were you doing sneaking around my home like you were?** ”

The Jims glanced at each other, swallowing harshly. CJ spoke this time, resting his camera on his brother’s shoulder in order to nervously rub at the back of his head. “We…wanted a story on how genuine Irish people celebrated St. Patrick’s Day! But uh…probably shoulda told you guys that first…”

JJ gave a silent giggle, covering his mouth his with hand. “ **I do not mind! Unfortunately though, most of us are ah…‘out’. Antagonizing some of _your_ family I presume. It’s just me and Robbie here.**” He turned away, shooting a glance over his shoulder and making a ‘come along’ gesture with his hand. “ **Follow me!** ”

The twins trailed after him, slightly uncomfortable in the unfamiliar setting. JJ led them to a lovely living room, the TV on and playing some cartoon. Robbie was folded against the couch, humming gravelly and off-key to the theme song, but he turned his head when he heard their arrival. Instantly he brightened into a wide smile, pale eyes glimmering. “Friends!”

The Jims’ hearts practically melted. “Hey! You remember us!”

JJ beamed, gazing fondly at Robbie. “ **You two aren’t exactly an easy pair to forget. He’s been asking for months when he would see you again, and Jackie kept promising to write a letter to Dark or ask the Silver Shepherd about it but…well, he’s Jackie.** ”

The Jims exchanged glances before settling on either side of the zombie, sandwiching him between them. CJ folded his arms across his camera resting in his lap, giving Robbie a warm smile. “We’ll be sure to visit more often.” RJ nodded enthusiastically.

Robbie clapped his hands excitedly before turning back to the TV, humming once more. JJ settled into one of the arm chairs, picking up a book that he must’ve been reading before he heard the Jims prowling around. He glanced up. “ **I know this isn’t the ‘story’ you were anticipating but…will this do?** ”

They looked at each other, at Robbie’s happy face, and nodded. “This is perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is such a dorky story, I thoroughly enjoyed rereading this after writing some dark shit (don't worry, that's MUCH further down the line for you guys). Anyway, guess what! You know that story I've been teasing at for like months now, you know, the one about the Host being introduced to the egos for the first time? Yes, that is FINALLY coming out Wednesday! I'm so excited! See you then!


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